Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Mashed-up Moments

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim …

In the name of Allah the Most All Knowing, Allah the Most Forgiving and Allah the Most Superior in granting all-prayer. Ramadhan mode is on ~

“Feel free to judge because I feel free in my own skin and be my true self.” 

Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wbt, to all my respected silent readers; including ‘you’ that happens to pass-by my blog. Hi there, it’s me again. After first half of this year of 2016 left me far behind, here I’m.

The headline above that I quoted is my own quotation. Define me as myself. Being me, letting me be in thinking mode endlessly. I hold tight with this aayah from Allah’s love letter;

1. Verse 21 Surah al-Hasyr,

“If We had sent down this Qur’an upon a mountain, you would have seen it humbled and coming apart from fear of Allah. And these examples We present to the people that perhaps they will give thought.”

2. Verse 24 Surah Yunus,

“The example of (this) worldly life is but like rain which We have sent down from the sky that the plants of earth absorb – (those) from which men and livestock eat – until, when the earth has taken on its adornment and is beautified and its people suppose that they have capability over it, there comes to it Our command by night or by day, and We make it as a harvest, as if it had not flourished yesterday. Thus do We explain in detail the signs for a people who give thought.”

3. Verse 13 Surah al-Jaathiyah,

“And He has subjected to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on earth – all from Him. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”

4. Verse 21 Surah ar-Rum,

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”

How beautiful those verses send by Allah to us as a little caliph in this gigantic world. The reminder of what we need to carry out, till the end of this dunya. Nonetheless as a normal human, we tend to forget and take all these things for granted. ‘My thinking mode’ flashing back to the time where I found my TRUE love. Since this is the month of Ramadhan, it always keeps my remembrance back to where I used to rejoice serenity and tranquility.

A place that makes my heart falls billion times. A place that makes my soul soothe the whole times. A place which I meet my TRUE love. Yes, at the first sight. Allahu akbar!

2006 starts it all. The sweetness of the love keeps on nurturing, the passion keeps on growing, and the faith keep on expanding. Allah’s love will always be amazing! Masya Allah. Even it’s kind of too late to realize, its better be late than never. Alhamdulillah.

Back to present time, I’m asking myself. Am I still the same girl that naively falling in love as 10 years ago? The ‘No’ answers surely in partially quite upset me to grasp. I feel like developing and growing in life does makes me lost myself as a girl that at all times bear in mind, 

“Anything that happens, Allah’s always with me.”  

It’s not that I’m not feeling the same way now, but the tightness and longing seems breed altogether with me. Allah, may Allah have mercy on me.

Apology asked if you can’t manage to understand my ramblings and inner-self war. Being the real me tend to make certain number of people to misunderstood. Na’uzubillahi min dzalik. Come to think of it, being in quite a crowd of different arenas does groom me as me.

How others feel when they’re facing me tells me what kind of superficial expression for me to react. I don’t believe in hypocrisy, and I’m not part of it. Well, my mind still can stimulate fine. So, don’t worry of any bad words from me because I’ll not say anything you don’t want to hear if you’re not provoking me. In sha Allah!

Jump back to my couple of years in motivational consultant and event management team. The term may look majestic but it’s not seems as it looks. Being in this arena for the sake of helping the ummah and not the money, received splendid tests by my TRUE LOVE. Furthermore, that moment all of us were in the middle of saving up for furthering studies and life. Allah does provide us the rizq that can’t be value by money ~ the heart content and the smile on ‘their faces’ at the very end in each programme. Allahu, those are the best!

The years may be pretty short but the charm of struggles each day we’re together is all-embracing and priceless! La haula wala quwwata illa billah. I miss you guys (and girls of course). May Allah expand your life with happiness and mardhatillah. Aamiiin. 

WATCH OUT! This entry seems going to be long. In case you’re not ready to neither read nor understand, I’d say “Till we meet again.” Hehe :)

So, how’s life? Quiet for six months and suddenly popped up out of the blue. Hihi. ‘Enjoying mode’ is on.

Life’s good thanks to Allah, even there’s so many things messing up the schedule; it is good though. Life is a drama after-all. Heh.

Slighter than that, it’s real-life novels still. Since my life does messing up somehow, I will look for my vaccination in my earlier life; the arena of a writer. That’s what some so called ‘fans’ address me, back on 2003. Hihi. What an exquisite moment I’ve been into. The age of early e-novel just started. The age of dial-up connection of internet merely introduced. Beyond description! SubhanAllah.  

The vaccination of a writer lies in the response of the reader. Back then, the readers are welcomed to send e-mails to their favorite writer. No judgments because it’s normal. They also can hope the writers to reply the mails too because they DO. No need to be fake nor insecure. The worlds just fine and safe back then. Thanks a bunch to them. We’ve been friend ever since without boundaries of who were we. Lovely right?

* * *

“Life is an Open Secret – Sis Zabrina said.”

Yes. My life may not have seen as clearly to be seen but somehow it’s began to turn into an open secret when I began to open up and share things and whatnot to you, my beloved readers. Well, why am I disabling the stats and all sorts of Google tracing engine as known as Google plus app? It’s pretty simple to understand. My sharing is intended for those who are searching for it. So, don’t trap yourself here if you’re not ready to read or be positive while read it. Gotcha! 

Sharing in real life sometimes does trigger your feeling in showing off as others who’s listening, might know you. Come to think of it, here, in this kind of platform … you happen to know me as someone random out there, which doesn’t have any personal interest to impress you. There you are, my entry continues in inconsequential and tossing here and there. Apologize asked. That does explain how jump start inside my mind could go. It’s quite miserable.

* * *

Month of September ~

In the name of Allah the Most All Knowing, Allah the Most Forgiving and Allah the Most Superior in granting all-prayer.

Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wbt, to all my respected silent readers; including ‘you’ that happens to pass-by my blog.

Hi there, it’s me again. After nine months of this year of 2016 left me far behind, here I’m. Running my job and running my life in the actual meaning of running. Allahu. Nine months may seem a happy and rejoice moments for a pregnant woman. Waiting impatiently for the baby to came out and say hello to the new world. Somehow, I’m not a pregnant woman to eagerly impatient for something. Just a normal and random plain-jane who’s enjoying the stress in life every single day.

Wah, what’s an entry yeah. The entry which posted is the best among the best after several attempts to post something. Writing an entry sometimes ought to be in a condition of suitable before and irrelevance now. Well, time flies, people changes, our mind transits. That’s how life’s work, am I right?

Where I’ve been all this while? Following what’s trending. Yes, being a teacher urge me to throw myself in other field where I’m not completely belong. To know what’s my students into, I’ve to keep on try an error myself to flushed myself ‘there’. A young and brand new world! O child, here am I joining your brand new era. Please assist me, will you? :)